This my story in a nutshell....We even had a big black lab that we had to give away to a better home, how crazy is that?
June 16, 2010
Chosen and Loved
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
John 3:16 (NLT) "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
Friend To Friend
"You will never be able to have biological children," the doctor said. After years of painful tests, expensive treatments, frustrating procedures and desperate pleas and prayers, our hopes of having children were shattered by his harsh diagnosis. "Then we will adopt," my husband immediately replied. I wasn't so sure. Could I love another woman's baby as much as a child I would give birth to? I just didn't know.
Months later, God called Dan to be the Youth Pastor of a church where we met Ron Gossett, a Christian attorney. "We'd like to talk with you about adoption," Dan told Ron. Ron's response wasn't encouraging. "I rarely do adoptions but come by my office and fill out the papers - just in case." The following week, Ron called. "This is the stork," he said. I laughed. "I have a baby for you," he continued. I stopped laughing. "A young woman came into my office today. She's seven months pregnant and wants to give her baby up for adoption," he explained. I knew! Every doubt disappeared. Every fear faded into the certainty that this was God's plan for us. Six weeks later, our son, Jered Daniel Southerland, was born and three years later, his beautiful sister, Danna Marie, completed our family. Life was unbelievably sweet. We daily celebrated the fact that Jered and Danna were our chosen babies and wanted them to understand just how special they were. I knew the day would come when both children would have questions about their birth and adoption. I just thought I had a little more time.
One night, our young son climbed into my arms for our daily "snuggle and prayer" time before bed. His question ripped through the darkness and my heart. "Why didn't she want me?" Jered softly asked. I cried out to God for just the right words - for Jered - and for me. Instantly, it came. Bruno!
When Jered was four-years-old, we were given a chocolate Labrador puppy that quickly outgrew our small yard, our not-so-understanding neighbors and our apprehensive children. We named this gentle giant Bruno. But it soon became clear to all of us that we were not the right family for Bruno. After an intensive search, we discovered "Adopt a Pet," a remarkable organization that finds homes for animals whose owners, for one reason or another, cannot keep them. We were promised that Bruno would be placed in a home where he would be loved and well cared for. We talked and explained, struggling our way to the difficult decision that it was time to put Bruno up for adoption. Still, when they came to pick up Bruno, we all cried. We knew it was the best plan for Bruno - for us - and for a very excited family that wanted and had the room for a Labrador. But it still hurt. Sometimes, doing the right thing - the best thing - the highest thing - is also the most painful thing.
As I looked into the beautiful, blue eyes of the little boy I loved more than life itself, I prayed for wisdom. "Jered, do you remember Bruno?" At the memory of the dog, Jered smiled and sadly whispered, "I still miss him." I nodded in agreement, "I know, son. I know you loved Bruno and are sad that we had to give him away but do you remember why we gave Bruno away?" Jered thought for a moment, "Because we loved him so much and we knew we couldn't take care of him right ... and because he wasn't very happy 'cause he was so big here ... and because we wanted the best home in the whole wide world for him."
I paused for a moment, basking in the simple wisdom of my Father, spoken through the heart of my only son. "She did want you, honey. And she did love you ... so much, in fact, that she was willing to give you away, just like we gave Bruno away. Just like we wanted what was best for Bruno, your birth mother wanted what she thought was best for you." I fully recognize that it was an extremely simple illustration for a profoundly complex life circumstance - but it was enough.
As Jered drifted off to sleep, tears of gratitude spilled down my face, and I thanked God for two courageous young birth mothers and for His extraordinary plan of adoption that linked our four chosen lives and hearts in love.
Let's Pray
Father, I am amazed by the truth that You love and chose me to be Your very own. I don't understand such love, but I embrace it as the precious gift that it is. Help me to remember that in Your eyes, I am planned, wanted, loved and chosen.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Do you battle feelings of insecurity? Read Psalm 139 once each day for a month and see how God changes your perspective.
Is your mind often filled with negative thoughts about who you are and what you do? Read and memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5. When those negative thoughts come, reject them with this truth
Do you find it hard to believe that God has a special plan and purpose for your life?
Read and memorize Ephesians 2:10. "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Go and Teach
My husband and I have had missions impressed upon our hearts lately. Not only doing mission work ourselves, but teaching our children what mission work is. Teaching them to do things for others without the expectation of reward and to look for/fufill needs of the people who surround us. We want them to think of others, put others first, and to do nice things for others because that is what Christ does for us. If they learn to show the love of Christ to others, they will improve at showing the love of Christ to each other.
The Great Commision tells us : "Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. (20) Teach these new disciples to obey all commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
Most times, we do not hear verse 20 when referring to the Great Commision. We have some new little disciples in our own home. Hopefully, as we teach them to obey Christ, our little guys will be an encouragment to others around us and will be used to plant seeds in the hearts of people around us.
A challenge from our family to yours....think of a need you can fufill or an encouragment you can give to someone each week. Let your kids do it with you. Maybe even do it in secret. Take someone who is sick a plate of cookies and a homemade get-well card. Mow someones yard, go visit at the nursing home, leave your spouse a hidden letter telling them how much you appreciate them. Fix something for someone that needs fixing. Just a few of our ideas. We have just started this this week with our own kids, so we are still lookig for ideas.
Think about it, wouldn't it be an absolutley amazing and miraculous thing if this caught on all over town? People everywhere doing suprise things for others??? WOW! We most certainly would see a change in attitudes and hearts.
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!!! SHARE YOUR COMMENTS AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY DID THIS WEEK TO BLESS SOMEONE ELSE SO WE CAN ALL USE EACH OTHERS' IDEAS!
The Great Commision tells us : "Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. (20) Teach these new disciples to obey all commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
Most times, we do not hear verse 20 when referring to the Great Commision. We have some new little disciples in our own home. Hopefully, as we teach them to obey Christ, our little guys will be an encouragment to others around us and will be used to plant seeds in the hearts of people around us.
A challenge from our family to yours....think of a need you can fufill or an encouragment you can give to someone each week. Let your kids do it with you. Maybe even do it in secret. Take someone who is sick a plate of cookies and a homemade get-well card. Mow someones yard, go visit at the nursing home, leave your spouse a hidden letter telling them how much you appreciate them. Fix something for someone that needs fixing. Just a few of our ideas. We have just started this this week with our own kids, so we are still lookig for ideas.
Think about it, wouldn't it be an absolutley amazing and miraculous thing if this caught on all over town? People everywhere doing suprise things for others??? WOW! We most certainly would see a change in attitudes and hearts.
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!!! SHARE YOUR COMMENTS AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY DID THIS WEEK TO BLESS SOMEONE ELSE SO WE CAN ALL USE EACH OTHERS' IDEAS!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I'm Watching You....
Last night, I was blessed with an opportunity to spend a little one-on-one time with my 2 yr old after the other kids went to bed. What fun I had with little LA as we chased each other around the living room, tickled, play boxed, lots of things. LA has started this little habit....whenever he runs from me and doesn't want to be found, he grabs the nearest blanket and throws it over his head. Even though he does this right in front of me, he thinks that if he can't see me, I can't see him. Like an Ostrich with his head in the sand!
As I sat watching and playing with LA, I began to ponder how often we as Christians do this with God. We tend to forget that God is all-knowing and all-powerful and (to put in in simple terms) like Santa Clause, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"....And so much more, GOD created us, He's watching us. When we have done something that we know was wrong, or we are embarassed about, we think that we can run or hide and God won't find out about it. I wonder if God, like I did with LA, just sits back and chuckles at how naive we are.
"And now I entrust you to God and the word of His grace-his message that is able to build you up and give you inheritance with all those he has set-apart for himself." Acts 20:32
As I sat watching and playing with LA, I began to ponder how often we as Christians do this with God. We tend to forget that God is all-knowing and all-powerful and (to put in in simple terms) like Santa Clause, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"....And so much more, GOD created us, He's watching us. When we have done something that we know was wrong, or we are embarassed about, we think that we can run or hide and God won't find out about it. I wonder if God, like I did with LA, just sits back and chuckles at how naive we are.
"And now I entrust you to God and the word of His grace-his message that is able to build you up and give you inheritance with all those he has set-apart for himself." Acts 20:32
Monday, June 7, 2010
Don't Worry
People worry. We can't help it. As a foster parent, I worry about what will/will not happen with the foster children God has placed/places in my care at whatever given time.
Though each child and situation is different, I find myself worrying about the same things.....Is this child going to be okay if they go back home? Have the biological parents really made the changes necessary to take care of their kiddo? How are my own kids going to react when we have to take this child from our home? Will this child grow up to overcome or follow the path laid before him/her? Am I going to have the strength to continue doing what we are called to do if there is not what I consider a happy ending?
The hard core truth is that foster parenting in unpredictable. Nothing happens on time or in a timely manner for that matter. If you think the outcome of the situation is obvious, the opposite will occur. Not every foster child is destined to a "hard" life and not every biological parent who has had their child taken away is a "bad" parent. The whole situation is full of ups and downs. Many decisions are made that are not necessarily in the best interest of the child and as the foster parents, you really have very limited control (if any) over these decisions. In fact, many times, I just don't understand choices made....whether that is by kids, bio parents, or the court system...but YOU(the foster parent) have to deal with it. You have to walk the child and your family through it, it's your job, it's what you are called to do.
Emotionally draining to say the least. I have found that if I let myself worry and focus on the things that may/may not happen, I am angry, exhausted, irritable, you name it.
When I am worried and feeling discouraged, there are many bible passages that remind me where my focus needs to be. If you are worried about...just whatever, I hope you find comfort in the scripture I have decided to share today.
Psalms 37: 1-7
Don't worry about the wicked. Don't envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the LOrd, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
This passage reminds me that despite what happens, despite other people's motives or opinions, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Of my life, of my kids' lives, of the lives of everyone involved in our lives. And when there are trials we walk through that are impossible for me to understand ahead of time, as long as I am doing what God has called me to do and keep him in my focus, I'm going to be okay. My family is going to be okay. God's plan for our lives will be revealed in His time, not mine. And His plan for my life may not be what MY plan for my life is, but HIS plan will work out better than mine will anyways!
Though each child and situation is different, I find myself worrying about the same things.....Is this child going to be okay if they go back home? Have the biological parents really made the changes necessary to take care of their kiddo? How are my own kids going to react when we have to take this child from our home? Will this child grow up to overcome or follow the path laid before him/her? Am I going to have the strength to continue doing what we are called to do if there is not what I consider a happy ending?
The hard core truth is that foster parenting in unpredictable. Nothing happens on time or in a timely manner for that matter. If you think the outcome of the situation is obvious, the opposite will occur. Not every foster child is destined to a "hard" life and not every biological parent who has had their child taken away is a "bad" parent. The whole situation is full of ups and downs. Many decisions are made that are not necessarily in the best interest of the child and as the foster parents, you really have very limited control (if any) over these decisions. In fact, many times, I just don't understand choices made....whether that is by kids, bio parents, or the court system...but YOU(the foster parent) have to deal with it. You have to walk the child and your family through it, it's your job, it's what you are called to do.
Emotionally draining to say the least. I have found that if I let myself worry and focus on the things that may/may not happen, I am angry, exhausted, irritable, you name it.
When I am worried and feeling discouraged, there are many bible passages that remind me where my focus needs to be. If you are worried about...just whatever, I hope you find comfort in the scripture I have decided to share today.
Psalms 37: 1-7
Don't worry about the wicked. Don't envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the LOrd, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
This passage reminds me that despite what happens, despite other people's motives or opinions, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Of my life, of my kids' lives, of the lives of everyone involved in our lives. And when there are trials we walk through that are impossible for me to understand ahead of time, as long as I am doing what God has called me to do and keep him in my focus, I'm going to be okay. My family is going to be okay. God's plan for our lives will be revealed in His time, not mine. And His plan for my life may not be what MY plan for my life is, but HIS plan will work out better than mine will anyways!
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