Wow, it's been a while! I have found it somewhat difficult to find the energy to even think about blogging. However, today a dear friend has unintentionally given me inspiration to take some time and write. We have a lot to talk about!
My husband and I were blessed to be able to go to a National Adoption Conference a few weeks ago. We came away very inspired and with a heart to tell everyone about the need for adoption. Here are my thoughts on adoption....get involved!!! I would agree that not everyone is called to actually take an orphan child into their home, however there are other ways to help!
Here are some ideas... start an adoption fund at your church, write encouraging notes to a couple who is going through the process and let them know you support them, donate to an organization to help feed orphans or give a family a grocery gift card, provide a set of bunk beds to a family who is adopting, talk about it and raise awareness, step out on faith and take a child into your home, babysit for someone who has adopted.
The thing is, we are all orphans ADOPTED by Christ. Think about this...if Christ is the Father to the Fatherless, who is the mother? Well, who is Christ's bride?..the Church. So if Christ is the Father to the fatherless, it makes sense that the Church should be the mother to the motherless. Who is the church?...the Church is a body of believers coming together to spread the news of Christ. Most of the people I know are part of the CHURCH. We are commanded to care for the orphans and widows.
This is what the bible says about adoption...
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
Romans 8:14-16
But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
Galatians 4:4-6
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6
Wow, God places the lonely in families...pray about how God can use you as a vessel for orphans however that may be.
Did you know..... in Central Texas alone there are an average of over 700 kids available for adoption on a daily basis, and only an average of 700 kids adopted per year...this is devastating. These stats are from 2008. In 2008, 4 of my kids were some of the unfortunate ones that had to wait... Praise God they waited for me, they bless me more and more each day. But what about the rest of the kids who had to wait in 2008..or 2009..or 2010...who will step up to be their family?
ADOPTION----GET INVOLVED!!!!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Learning to Love
You really learn how to get close with your kids (or loose your mind) when all 8 of them plus mom and dad...that makes 10...are spending 2-3 weeks in the 10 x 10 play room while the living room gets re-constructed. Lord give me strength! I am so thankful that we still have our bedrooms to retreat to at bedtime.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Our Hope Endures
Okay, so it's been quite a while I know. Lately, by the time I have a moment to blog, I'm too tired and it makes my head hurt to think about what to write, so I took a break. The good news is, I'm back! We have enjoyed our Summer break with the kids and done well with most of our scheduled activities. This mom, however, is ready for school to start back and I think the kids are too.
In Sunday School, we have been studying suffering. Why we suffer and all that goes with it. I have really enjoyed our discussions and have left several of the classes feeling quite confident that I can "suffer in the right way". I mean, I have been through some tough stuff, leaned on God and felt his peace the whole way through. And I have always survived, I have always learned something new, AND, in the midst of these times of suffering, I have always, always, always, had some idea of where God was leading.
I have been knocked off of my high-horse.
This last week, I have experienced a new kind of suffering. It is somewhat easy (though not fun) to suffer when you know you are doing what God wants you to do. But what if you don't? We have been attacked from every angle this past week, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, and whatever else there is. And not by any one major thing....just one thing on top of another. The problem is, none of these things have a solution that we can see or even work towards at the moment. It leaves you feeling hopeless. I do not feel the peace of God in these areas because I don't know what HE wants us to do, where HE wants us to go. I do not think my faith goes away, but I think my sinful worrying and stressing clouds it.
One thing I do have peace about...God hears my cries, He feels my hurt, and He knows what lies ahead for me. He is in control even when I am not. When the path he has chosen for me comes available, He will give me confidence to know. I do not have peace about our lives right now, but I have PEACE that God will get us where he needs us to be. I have FAITH that God will show himself in the end. And I have lots of PRAYERS going up that he will do that quickly lol!..perhaps he is giving us a much needed lesson on patience.
I have found strength in this song....
You would think only
So much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this
One has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Sometimes the sun
Stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky
Rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the Earth quake
Our hope is unchanged
How do we comprehend
Peace within pain
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with a woman
Whose body is torn
With illness
But she marches - on
Oh
Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
This is our hope
Our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the Earth quake
Let the Earth quake
Let the Earth quake
Our hope is unchanged
HOW DO WE COMPREHEND PEACE WITHIN PAIN?...OUR HOPE ENDURES! LET THE EARTH QUAKE....MY HOPE IS UNCHANGED!
In Sunday School, we have been studying suffering. Why we suffer and all that goes with it. I have really enjoyed our discussions and have left several of the classes feeling quite confident that I can "suffer in the right way". I mean, I have been through some tough stuff, leaned on God and felt his peace the whole way through. And I have always survived, I have always learned something new, AND, in the midst of these times of suffering, I have always, always, always, had some idea of where God was leading.
I have been knocked off of my high-horse.
This last week, I have experienced a new kind of suffering. It is somewhat easy (though not fun) to suffer when you know you are doing what God wants you to do. But what if you don't? We have been attacked from every angle this past week, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, and whatever else there is. And not by any one major thing....just one thing on top of another. The problem is, none of these things have a solution that we can see or even work towards at the moment. It leaves you feeling hopeless. I do not feel the peace of God in these areas because I don't know what HE wants us to do, where HE wants us to go. I do not think my faith goes away, but I think my sinful worrying and stressing clouds it.
One thing I do have peace about...God hears my cries, He feels my hurt, and He knows what lies ahead for me. He is in control even when I am not. When the path he has chosen for me comes available, He will give me confidence to know. I do not have peace about our lives right now, but I have PEACE that God will get us where he needs us to be. I have FAITH that God will show himself in the end. And I have lots of PRAYERS going up that he will do that quickly lol!..perhaps he is giving us a much needed lesson on patience.
I have found strength in this song....
You would think only
So much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this
One has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Sometimes the sun
Stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky
Rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the Earth quake
Our hope is unchanged
How do we comprehend
Peace within pain
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with a woman
Whose body is torn
With illness
But she marches - on
Oh
Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
This is our hope
Our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the Earth quake
Let the Earth quake
Let the Earth quake
Our hope is unchanged
HOW DO WE COMPREHEND PEACE WITHIN PAIN?...OUR HOPE ENDURES! LET THE EARTH QUAKE....MY HOPE IS UNCHANGED!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
God will answer the hard questions
This my story in a nutshell....We even had a big black lab that we had to give away to a better home, how crazy is that?
June 16, 2010
Chosen and Loved
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
John 3:16 (NLT) "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
Friend To Friend
"You will never be able to have biological children," the doctor said. After years of painful tests, expensive treatments, frustrating procedures and desperate pleas and prayers, our hopes of having children were shattered by his harsh diagnosis. "Then we will adopt," my husband immediately replied. I wasn't so sure. Could I love another woman's baby as much as a child I would give birth to? I just didn't know.
Months later, God called Dan to be the Youth Pastor of a church where we met Ron Gossett, a Christian attorney. "We'd like to talk with you about adoption," Dan told Ron. Ron's response wasn't encouraging. "I rarely do adoptions but come by my office and fill out the papers - just in case." The following week, Ron called. "This is the stork," he said. I laughed. "I have a baby for you," he continued. I stopped laughing. "A young woman came into my office today. She's seven months pregnant and wants to give her baby up for adoption," he explained. I knew! Every doubt disappeared. Every fear faded into the certainty that this was God's plan for us. Six weeks later, our son, Jered Daniel Southerland, was born and three years later, his beautiful sister, Danna Marie, completed our family. Life was unbelievably sweet. We daily celebrated the fact that Jered and Danna were our chosen babies and wanted them to understand just how special they were. I knew the day would come when both children would have questions about their birth and adoption. I just thought I had a little more time.
One night, our young son climbed into my arms for our daily "snuggle and prayer" time before bed. His question ripped through the darkness and my heart. "Why didn't she want me?" Jered softly asked. I cried out to God for just the right words - for Jered - and for me. Instantly, it came. Bruno!
When Jered was four-years-old, we were given a chocolate Labrador puppy that quickly outgrew our small yard, our not-so-understanding neighbors and our apprehensive children. We named this gentle giant Bruno. But it soon became clear to all of us that we were not the right family for Bruno. After an intensive search, we discovered "Adopt a Pet," a remarkable organization that finds homes for animals whose owners, for one reason or another, cannot keep them. We were promised that Bruno would be placed in a home where he would be loved and well cared for. We talked and explained, struggling our way to the difficult decision that it was time to put Bruno up for adoption. Still, when they came to pick up Bruno, we all cried. We knew it was the best plan for Bruno - for us - and for a very excited family that wanted and had the room for a Labrador. But it still hurt. Sometimes, doing the right thing - the best thing - the highest thing - is also the most painful thing.
As I looked into the beautiful, blue eyes of the little boy I loved more than life itself, I prayed for wisdom. "Jered, do you remember Bruno?" At the memory of the dog, Jered smiled and sadly whispered, "I still miss him." I nodded in agreement, "I know, son. I know you loved Bruno and are sad that we had to give him away but do you remember why we gave Bruno away?" Jered thought for a moment, "Because we loved him so much and we knew we couldn't take care of him right ... and because he wasn't very happy 'cause he was so big here ... and because we wanted the best home in the whole wide world for him."
I paused for a moment, basking in the simple wisdom of my Father, spoken through the heart of my only son. "She did want you, honey. And she did love you ... so much, in fact, that she was willing to give you away, just like we gave Bruno away. Just like we wanted what was best for Bruno, your birth mother wanted what she thought was best for you." I fully recognize that it was an extremely simple illustration for a profoundly complex life circumstance - but it was enough.
As Jered drifted off to sleep, tears of gratitude spilled down my face, and I thanked God for two courageous young birth mothers and for His extraordinary plan of adoption that linked our four chosen lives and hearts in love.
Let's Pray
Father, I am amazed by the truth that You love and chose me to be Your very own. I don't understand such love, but I embrace it as the precious gift that it is. Help me to remember that in Your eyes, I am planned, wanted, loved and chosen.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Do you battle feelings of insecurity? Read Psalm 139 once each day for a month and see how God changes your perspective.
Is your mind often filled with negative thoughts about who you are and what you do? Read and memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5. When those negative thoughts come, reject them with this truth
Do you find it hard to believe that God has a special plan and purpose for your life?
Read and memorize Ephesians 2:10. "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
June 16, 2010
Chosen and Loved
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
John 3:16 (NLT) "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
Friend To Friend
"You will never be able to have biological children," the doctor said. After years of painful tests, expensive treatments, frustrating procedures and desperate pleas and prayers, our hopes of having children were shattered by his harsh diagnosis. "Then we will adopt," my husband immediately replied. I wasn't so sure. Could I love another woman's baby as much as a child I would give birth to? I just didn't know.
Months later, God called Dan to be the Youth Pastor of a church where we met Ron Gossett, a Christian attorney. "We'd like to talk with you about adoption," Dan told Ron. Ron's response wasn't encouraging. "I rarely do adoptions but come by my office and fill out the papers - just in case." The following week, Ron called. "This is the stork," he said. I laughed. "I have a baby for you," he continued. I stopped laughing. "A young woman came into my office today. She's seven months pregnant and wants to give her baby up for adoption," he explained. I knew! Every doubt disappeared. Every fear faded into the certainty that this was God's plan for us. Six weeks later, our son, Jered Daniel Southerland, was born and three years later, his beautiful sister, Danna Marie, completed our family. Life was unbelievably sweet. We daily celebrated the fact that Jered and Danna were our chosen babies and wanted them to understand just how special they were. I knew the day would come when both children would have questions about their birth and adoption. I just thought I had a little more time.
One night, our young son climbed into my arms for our daily "snuggle and prayer" time before bed. His question ripped through the darkness and my heart. "Why didn't she want me?" Jered softly asked. I cried out to God for just the right words - for Jered - and for me. Instantly, it came. Bruno!
When Jered was four-years-old, we were given a chocolate Labrador puppy that quickly outgrew our small yard, our not-so-understanding neighbors and our apprehensive children. We named this gentle giant Bruno. But it soon became clear to all of us that we were not the right family for Bruno. After an intensive search, we discovered "Adopt a Pet," a remarkable organization that finds homes for animals whose owners, for one reason or another, cannot keep them. We were promised that Bruno would be placed in a home where he would be loved and well cared for. We talked and explained, struggling our way to the difficult decision that it was time to put Bruno up for adoption. Still, when they came to pick up Bruno, we all cried. We knew it was the best plan for Bruno - for us - and for a very excited family that wanted and had the room for a Labrador. But it still hurt. Sometimes, doing the right thing - the best thing - the highest thing - is also the most painful thing.
As I looked into the beautiful, blue eyes of the little boy I loved more than life itself, I prayed for wisdom. "Jered, do you remember Bruno?" At the memory of the dog, Jered smiled and sadly whispered, "I still miss him." I nodded in agreement, "I know, son. I know you loved Bruno and are sad that we had to give him away but do you remember why we gave Bruno away?" Jered thought for a moment, "Because we loved him so much and we knew we couldn't take care of him right ... and because he wasn't very happy 'cause he was so big here ... and because we wanted the best home in the whole wide world for him."
I paused for a moment, basking in the simple wisdom of my Father, spoken through the heart of my only son. "She did want you, honey. And she did love you ... so much, in fact, that she was willing to give you away, just like we gave Bruno away. Just like we wanted what was best for Bruno, your birth mother wanted what she thought was best for you." I fully recognize that it was an extremely simple illustration for a profoundly complex life circumstance - but it was enough.
As Jered drifted off to sleep, tears of gratitude spilled down my face, and I thanked God for two courageous young birth mothers and for His extraordinary plan of adoption that linked our four chosen lives and hearts in love.
Let's Pray
Father, I am amazed by the truth that You love and chose me to be Your very own. I don't understand such love, but I embrace it as the precious gift that it is. Help me to remember that in Your eyes, I am planned, wanted, loved and chosen.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Do you battle feelings of insecurity? Read Psalm 139 once each day for a month and see how God changes your perspective.
Is your mind often filled with negative thoughts about who you are and what you do? Read and memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5. When those negative thoughts come, reject them with this truth
Do you find it hard to believe that God has a special plan and purpose for your life?
Read and memorize Ephesians 2:10. "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Go and Teach
My husband and I have had missions impressed upon our hearts lately. Not only doing mission work ourselves, but teaching our children what mission work is. Teaching them to do things for others without the expectation of reward and to look for/fufill needs of the people who surround us. We want them to think of others, put others first, and to do nice things for others because that is what Christ does for us. If they learn to show the love of Christ to others, they will improve at showing the love of Christ to each other.
The Great Commision tells us : "Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. (20) Teach these new disciples to obey all commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
Most times, we do not hear verse 20 when referring to the Great Commision. We have some new little disciples in our own home. Hopefully, as we teach them to obey Christ, our little guys will be an encouragment to others around us and will be used to plant seeds in the hearts of people around us.
A challenge from our family to yours....think of a need you can fufill or an encouragment you can give to someone each week. Let your kids do it with you. Maybe even do it in secret. Take someone who is sick a plate of cookies and a homemade get-well card. Mow someones yard, go visit at the nursing home, leave your spouse a hidden letter telling them how much you appreciate them. Fix something for someone that needs fixing. Just a few of our ideas. We have just started this this week with our own kids, so we are still lookig for ideas.
Think about it, wouldn't it be an absolutley amazing and miraculous thing if this caught on all over town? People everywhere doing suprise things for others??? WOW! We most certainly would see a change in attitudes and hearts.
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!!! SHARE YOUR COMMENTS AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY DID THIS WEEK TO BLESS SOMEONE ELSE SO WE CAN ALL USE EACH OTHERS' IDEAS!
The Great Commision tells us : "Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. (20) Teach these new disciples to obey all commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
Most times, we do not hear verse 20 when referring to the Great Commision. We have some new little disciples in our own home. Hopefully, as we teach them to obey Christ, our little guys will be an encouragment to others around us and will be used to plant seeds in the hearts of people around us.
A challenge from our family to yours....think of a need you can fufill or an encouragment you can give to someone each week. Let your kids do it with you. Maybe even do it in secret. Take someone who is sick a plate of cookies and a homemade get-well card. Mow someones yard, go visit at the nursing home, leave your spouse a hidden letter telling them how much you appreciate them. Fix something for someone that needs fixing. Just a few of our ideas. We have just started this this week with our own kids, so we are still lookig for ideas.
Think about it, wouldn't it be an absolutley amazing and miraculous thing if this caught on all over town? People everywhere doing suprise things for others??? WOW! We most certainly would see a change in attitudes and hearts.
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!!! SHARE YOUR COMMENTS AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY DID THIS WEEK TO BLESS SOMEONE ELSE SO WE CAN ALL USE EACH OTHERS' IDEAS!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I'm Watching You....
Last night, I was blessed with an opportunity to spend a little one-on-one time with my 2 yr old after the other kids went to bed. What fun I had with little LA as we chased each other around the living room, tickled, play boxed, lots of things. LA has started this little habit....whenever he runs from me and doesn't want to be found, he grabs the nearest blanket and throws it over his head. Even though he does this right in front of me, he thinks that if he can't see me, I can't see him. Like an Ostrich with his head in the sand!
As I sat watching and playing with LA, I began to ponder how often we as Christians do this with God. We tend to forget that God is all-knowing and all-powerful and (to put in in simple terms) like Santa Clause, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"....And so much more, GOD created us, He's watching us. When we have done something that we know was wrong, or we are embarassed about, we think that we can run or hide and God won't find out about it. I wonder if God, like I did with LA, just sits back and chuckles at how naive we are.
"And now I entrust you to God and the word of His grace-his message that is able to build you up and give you inheritance with all those he has set-apart for himself." Acts 20:32
As I sat watching and playing with LA, I began to ponder how often we as Christians do this with God. We tend to forget that God is all-knowing and all-powerful and (to put in in simple terms) like Santa Clause, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"....And so much more, GOD created us, He's watching us. When we have done something that we know was wrong, or we are embarassed about, we think that we can run or hide and God won't find out about it. I wonder if God, like I did with LA, just sits back and chuckles at how naive we are.
"And now I entrust you to God and the word of His grace-his message that is able to build you up and give you inheritance with all those he has set-apart for himself." Acts 20:32
Monday, June 7, 2010
Don't Worry
People worry. We can't help it. As a foster parent, I worry about what will/will not happen with the foster children God has placed/places in my care at whatever given time.
Though each child and situation is different, I find myself worrying about the same things.....Is this child going to be okay if they go back home? Have the biological parents really made the changes necessary to take care of their kiddo? How are my own kids going to react when we have to take this child from our home? Will this child grow up to overcome or follow the path laid before him/her? Am I going to have the strength to continue doing what we are called to do if there is not what I consider a happy ending?
The hard core truth is that foster parenting in unpredictable. Nothing happens on time or in a timely manner for that matter. If you think the outcome of the situation is obvious, the opposite will occur. Not every foster child is destined to a "hard" life and not every biological parent who has had their child taken away is a "bad" parent. The whole situation is full of ups and downs. Many decisions are made that are not necessarily in the best interest of the child and as the foster parents, you really have very limited control (if any) over these decisions. In fact, many times, I just don't understand choices made....whether that is by kids, bio parents, or the court system...but YOU(the foster parent) have to deal with it. You have to walk the child and your family through it, it's your job, it's what you are called to do.
Emotionally draining to say the least. I have found that if I let myself worry and focus on the things that may/may not happen, I am angry, exhausted, irritable, you name it.
When I am worried and feeling discouraged, there are many bible passages that remind me where my focus needs to be. If you are worried about...just whatever, I hope you find comfort in the scripture I have decided to share today.
Psalms 37: 1-7
Don't worry about the wicked. Don't envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the LOrd, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
This passage reminds me that despite what happens, despite other people's motives or opinions, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Of my life, of my kids' lives, of the lives of everyone involved in our lives. And when there are trials we walk through that are impossible for me to understand ahead of time, as long as I am doing what God has called me to do and keep him in my focus, I'm going to be okay. My family is going to be okay. God's plan for our lives will be revealed in His time, not mine. And His plan for my life may not be what MY plan for my life is, but HIS plan will work out better than mine will anyways!
Though each child and situation is different, I find myself worrying about the same things.....Is this child going to be okay if they go back home? Have the biological parents really made the changes necessary to take care of their kiddo? How are my own kids going to react when we have to take this child from our home? Will this child grow up to overcome or follow the path laid before him/her? Am I going to have the strength to continue doing what we are called to do if there is not what I consider a happy ending?
The hard core truth is that foster parenting in unpredictable. Nothing happens on time or in a timely manner for that matter. If you think the outcome of the situation is obvious, the opposite will occur. Not every foster child is destined to a "hard" life and not every biological parent who has had their child taken away is a "bad" parent. The whole situation is full of ups and downs. Many decisions are made that are not necessarily in the best interest of the child and as the foster parents, you really have very limited control (if any) over these decisions. In fact, many times, I just don't understand choices made....whether that is by kids, bio parents, or the court system...but YOU(the foster parent) have to deal with it. You have to walk the child and your family through it, it's your job, it's what you are called to do.
Emotionally draining to say the least. I have found that if I let myself worry and focus on the things that may/may not happen, I am angry, exhausted, irritable, you name it.
When I am worried and feeling discouraged, there are many bible passages that remind me where my focus needs to be. If you are worried about...just whatever, I hope you find comfort in the scripture I have decided to share today.
Psalms 37: 1-7
Don't worry about the wicked. Don't envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the LOrd, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
This passage reminds me that despite what happens, despite other people's motives or opinions, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Of my life, of my kids' lives, of the lives of everyone involved in our lives. And when there are trials we walk through that are impossible for me to understand ahead of time, as long as I am doing what God has called me to do and keep him in my focus, I'm going to be okay. My family is going to be okay. God's plan for our lives will be revealed in His time, not mine. And His plan for my life may not be what MY plan for my life is, but HIS plan will work out better than mine will anyways!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Time is Precious
Appreciate the time you have with your kids.
I haven't been able to help being excited as August draws closer. The big kids will be back in school, and this year, 2 of my toddlers will be in preschool. Meaning, I will only be left with 2 kids at home...and one of them may be in preschool by December, leaving only one at home. This is really going to be a complete life change, especially since one of my toddlers going to preschool is the equivalent of 3 toddlers at once (she is very busy, mischievious, and a complete handful to say the least). Life at home quite possibly may get boring during the day.
The closer preschool times draws near, though looking forward to it, I am becoming very apprehensive....Sunshine has never stayed with anyone but me for the most part. She is very independent and I have no doubt she will be fine, but when she has moments that she just wants mommy to hold her or pat her back to sleep for her nap, I begin to wonder whether or not she is ready.....or better yet, if I am ready! And then I feel guilty for sending her and wanting her to go. I wonder if we will ever have time to just cuddle together while watching a movie or to just have those mommy/daughter moments after school starts.
And then there's the other side of things....I can't wait for her to go, she is a handful and I need a break! I am kind of ready to have a quiet household during the day. Most of the time, I feel guilty for feeling this way:( even though there are lots of reasons, (aside from my own feelings)that she needs preschool.
Turmoil, turmoil, turmoil!...do I want to be excited or sad???? I can't decide, so for now, I am both!
Sooo, for the next 2 months, I will do my best to prepare my Sunshine for her preschool class where she will learn and grow in so many needed ways....and try my best to appreciate her every time she cries or throws a fit and says, "I want my mommy". And definatly take advantage of all the little, special moments we get to sneak in along the way! Oh, and try really hard NOT to cry until I get to the car on her first day of school!
I haven't been able to help being excited as August draws closer. The big kids will be back in school, and this year, 2 of my toddlers will be in preschool. Meaning, I will only be left with 2 kids at home...and one of them may be in preschool by December, leaving only one at home. This is really going to be a complete life change, especially since one of my toddlers going to preschool is the equivalent of 3 toddlers at once (she is very busy, mischievious, and a complete handful to say the least). Life at home quite possibly may get boring during the day.
The closer preschool times draws near, though looking forward to it, I am becoming very apprehensive....Sunshine has never stayed with anyone but me for the most part. She is very independent and I have no doubt she will be fine, but when she has moments that she just wants mommy to hold her or pat her back to sleep for her nap, I begin to wonder whether or not she is ready.....or better yet, if I am ready! And then I feel guilty for sending her and wanting her to go. I wonder if we will ever have time to just cuddle together while watching a movie or to just have those mommy/daughter moments after school starts.
And then there's the other side of things....I can't wait for her to go, she is a handful and I need a break! I am kind of ready to have a quiet household during the day. Most of the time, I feel guilty for feeling this way:( even though there are lots of reasons, (aside from my own feelings)that she needs preschool.
Turmoil, turmoil, turmoil!...do I want to be excited or sad???? I can't decide, so for now, I am both!
Sooo, for the next 2 months, I will do my best to prepare my Sunshine for her preschool class where she will learn and grow in so many needed ways....and try my best to appreciate her every time she cries or throws a fit and says, "I want my mommy". And definatly take advantage of all the little, special moments we get to sneak in along the way! Oh, and try really hard NOT to cry until I get to the car on her first day of school!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Teaching by Example
I received this today from "Girlfriends In God". I think it goes really well with my last post about how kids watch you to see how to react to different situation. Enjoy!
You Are Writing a Gospel
Sharon Jaynes
Today's Truth
"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us" (2 Corinthians 5:20 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Charles Swindoll tells the story of four scholars who were arguing over Bible translations. One said he preferred the King James Version because of its eloquent old English, another preferred the American Standard because of its literalism and a third preferred the way the Moffatt translation captured the reader's attention. After giving the issue considerable thought, the fourth scholar admitted, "I have personally preferred my mother's translation." The others scholars chuckled, but as he explained, "Yes, she translated it. She translated each page of the Bible into life. It is the most convincing translation I ever saw."
You have probably heard people say, "My life is an open book." Well it certainly is with children. They are reading about life from every page. They are finding answers to many of life's questions: "How, as a wife, am I supposed to love and honor my husband?" "How am I supposed to spend my money?" "How should a Christian act?"
Not only are children reading the pages of our lives to learn what a Christian looks like, but they also are reading us to draw conclusions about what God is like. Think back to your own childhood. How did you perceive God? In your eyes, was He a harsh taskmaster who sat in the clouds, looking down with disdain every time you made a mistake? Did He carry a big stick, ready to whip you into shape? Did He keep a big score book where He made notations when you did something bad and gave you red check marks when you did something good?
Or did you see Him as a loving Father with children clamoring around His feet and climbing into His welcoming lap? Did you see Him as a Daddy who tucked His children in at night and listened to them talk about anything and everything? Did you see Him as being not mad but hurt when you made a mistake?
As the authors of the Parent Factor say, "Whether they have been loving or aloof, kind or harsh, supportive or neglectful, parents have played a major role with forming your view of God... The result can be wonderful or tragic."
Children are reading the pages of our lives to see what a Christian is supposed to look like. A self-righteous, boastful Sunday school teacher was preaching to his class on the importance of exemplary living. With his head held high and chest thrust out, he strutted back and forth across the room. He asked, "Now, children, why do people call me a Christian?"
There was a moment of silence. Then one boy raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the teacher.
"Probably because they don't know you very well," responded the boy.
They had read the pages of the teacher's life and he had come up wanting.
You Are Writing a Gospel
Sharon Jaynes
Today's Truth
"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us" (2 Corinthians 5:20 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Charles Swindoll tells the story of four scholars who were arguing over Bible translations. One said he preferred the King James Version because of its eloquent old English, another preferred the American Standard because of its literalism and a third preferred the way the Moffatt translation captured the reader's attention. After giving the issue considerable thought, the fourth scholar admitted, "I have personally preferred my mother's translation." The others scholars chuckled, but as he explained, "Yes, she translated it. She translated each page of the Bible into life. It is the most convincing translation I ever saw."
You have probably heard people say, "My life is an open book." Well it certainly is with children. They are reading about life from every page. They are finding answers to many of life's questions: "How, as a wife, am I supposed to love and honor my husband?" "How am I supposed to spend my money?" "How should a Christian act?"
Not only are children reading the pages of our lives to learn what a Christian looks like, but they also are reading us to draw conclusions about what God is like. Think back to your own childhood. How did you perceive God? In your eyes, was He a harsh taskmaster who sat in the clouds, looking down with disdain every time you made a mistake? Did He carry a big stick, ready to whip you into shape? Did He keep a big score book where He made notations when you did something bad and gave you red check marks when you did something good?
Or did you see Him as a loving Father with children clamoring around His feet and climbing into His welcoming lap? Did you see Him as a Daddy who tucked His children in at night and listened to them talk about anything and everything? Did you see Him as being not mad but hurt when you made a mistake?
As the authors of the Parent Factor say, "Whether they have been loving or aloof, kind or harsh, supportive or neglectful, parents have played a major role with forming your view of God... The result can be wonderful or tragic."
Children are reading the pages of our lives to see what a Christian is supposed to look like. A self-righteous, boastful Sunday school teacher was preaching to his class on the importance of exemplary living. With his head held high and chest thrust out, he strutted back and forth across the room. He asked, "Now, children, why do people call me a Christian?"
There was a moment of silence. Then one boy raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the teacher.
"Probably because they don't know you very well," responded the boy.
They had read the pages of the teacher's life and he had come up wanting.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Are they learning?....Yes, they are!
As a Christian parent, my ultimate goal is to teach my children to love Christ and to love each other. Sometimes, I get very discouraged. At times, it seems like they just don't listen at all. And then there are times I think, "how can I teach them anything when I can't even get my act together." The hard core truth? We are all sinners and it doesn't matter how hard I try, I am going to fall from time to time. Ideally, God would not let my children see me fall:)...Unfortunatly, they do see it though, and far more often than I like to admit. It is during these times that my chidren, like it or not, are watching me to see how I will handle the situation. This is when they are learning...and is quite possibly why they have many bad habits, but I hope is also part of the reason they are learning to have a softer heart and to "think before acting"!
When the kids get rowdy and are not getting along, it's hard to tell that we are a Christian family...one thing always leads to another...and eventually, it all comes crashing down. Are they really learning any of the Godly characteristics we are trying to instill in them?
Sure they are, you just have to listen closer!
When "Sunshine" is getting in trouble, she starts singing to tune me out, which adds fuel to the fire...but wait, what's she singing?...Jesus Loves Me. She may not know how to obey her parents yet, but at least she's learning Jesus Loves Her.
8 kids around the dinner table argueing really loudly. But listen closer...what are they argueing about?....Who's turn is it to pray?
What songs are they singing annoyingly loud when they are in the shower? songs from church?...they are learning!
How many times during the week do they drive you crazy asking if today is the day we go to church? ...they are learning!
When you have prayer time, give each child an opportunity to tell you something they would like prayer for. 9 times out of 10, they want prayer for a friend or family member, not themselves....learning compassion and learning to pray!
When you have had a bad week, kids are fighting, mom is a big grizzly bear, dad is wondering if it will ever end.....sit down in front of your kids and apologize to them and discuss the issue at hand....this started a chain reaction of apologies at our house. Mom to Child, child to child, child to mom, dad was in there somewhere...tears flowing, hugs...I've never seen more sincere times of siblings asking for and receiving forgivness from each other...they are learning!
And then there are the times that they ask questions about God and listen to what you have to say and ask more!...because they want to learn!
And the most precious of all?....when they have listened and learned and want to continue learning, and they get on their knees and tell God that they sin too and need him to live in their hearts to make it clean. It's different for everyone...some make this decision very young, some are very old. Regardless of age, they are learning!
So, once again, when you wonder if your child is learning to be Christlike...if you have made the effort, yes, of course they are learning! Just listen closer!
When the kids get rowdy and are not getting along, it's hard to tell that we are a Christian family...one thing always leads to another...and eventually, it all comes crashing down. Are they really learning any of the Godly characteristics we are trying to instill in them?
Sure they are, you just have to listen closer!
When "Sunshine" is getting in trouble, she starts singing to tune me out, which adds fuel to the fire...but wait, what's she singing?...Jesus Loves Me. She may not know how to obey her parents yet, but at least she's learning Jesus Loves Her.
8 kids around the dinner table argueing really loudly. But listen closer...what are they argueing about?....Who's turn is it to pray?
What songs are they singing annoyingly loud when they are in the shower? songs from church?...they are learning!
How many times during the week do they drive you crazy asking if today is the day we go to church? ...they are learning!
When you have prayer time, give each child an opportunity to tell you something they would like prayer for. 9 times out of 10, they want prayer for a friend or family member, not themselves....learning compassion and learning to pray!
When you have had a bad week, kids are fighting, mom is a big grizzly bear, dad is wondering if it will ever end.....sit down in front of your kids and apologize to them and discuss the issue at hand....this started a chain reaction of apologies at our house. Mom to Child, child to child, child to mom, dad was in there somewhere...tears flowing, hugs...I've never seen more sincere times of siblings asking for and receiving forgivness from each other...they are learning!
And then there are the times that they ask questions about God and listen to what you have to say and ask more!...because they want to learn!
And the most precious of all?....when they have listened and learned and want to continue learning, and they get on their knees and tell God that they sin too and need him to live in their hearts to make it clean. It's different for everyone...some make this decision very young, some are very old. Regardless of age, they are learning!
So, once again, when you wonder if your child is learning to be Christlike...if you have made the effort, yes, of course they are learning! Just listen closer!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Keep Them Busy!
With Summer break quickly approaching, I am not sure whether to be excited or scared to death! You see, I love Summer break and I really am looking forward to it, however, this is the first full Summer that I will have had 6-8 kids at home with me on any given day. That thought alone honestly terrifies me. A group of kids with nothing to do very quickly turns to chaos. The one thought I have is to KEEP THEM BUSY! With so many kids, we are constantly looking budget friendly activities...we can't even take them all out for fast food without it costing us a fortune! Below are some of my ideas. I would love to have your feedback for more ideas to keep us busy this summer.
Basically, I have designated a "special" activity for 3-4 evenings a week.
Every other Monday - Craft Night - I bought some discount items from oriental trading. All of our projects will be something we can use, who needs useless junk lying around!?! We will design our own Bible Covers, Father's Day gifts, Make a quilt, MAke a prayer box (we are learning to pray real prayers and to pray for each other, and color our own cups...these are just a few of our ideas.
Every Other Tuesday - Outside Game Night - We will go outside for some family fun. Maybe water slip n slide, relay races, ping-pong tournaments, go for a walk.....just something outside and WITH Dad.
Every Wednesday - Kids Cook - Exactly like it sounds, the kids get to cook supper. They get to plan their own menus. The rule?....they have to have a main course, veggie, side, and dessert. Our first meal looks like it's going to consist of Hamburger Helper, carrots w/ranch, Macarroni n Cheese, and brownies. LOL It doesn't exactly go together and I never buy hamburger helper, but it's supposed to be fun, so one night won't hurt!
Every other Thursday - Night Out - This is when we will do low-budget activities away from our house. Snow Cones, Splash Park, Park play, go visit family
To go along with this, we are having a veggie competition, to try as many as we can think of. I have made a chart and they get a sticker if they at least try the new veggie with some type of reward at the end of summer for trying so many new foods. I am hoping we find some new items to add to the menu!
Every other Friday - Field Trip Day - Only if they had good behavior all week...my husband is off on Fridays, so it will be a family trip. Putt-Putt, fishing, Hiking, Movies
Every Friday - Talent Night - The kids have all week to plan out their talent...singing, poetry, telling a story, play piano, play piano with your toes, gymnastics, cheering,... tons of choices!
We are also trying to plan to some occasional Community Service type activities...to teach the kids to do nice things for others, with no expectations of rewards. Be nice just to be nice. These activities may include mowing someones yard, baking cookies for someone, Just filling a need whenever we see it.
Our mornings will also have a routine....get up/dressed certain time, chores, 1 hour of workbooks/reading, exercise time, bible story time and a few other things.
I hope this inspires some of my readers or at least helps calm the summertime "blues" if you have them! I would love to hear of your own summertime ideas!!!
Basically, I have designated a "special" activity for 3-4 evenings a week.
Every other Monday - Craft Night - I bought some discount items from oriental trading. All of our projects will be something we can use, who needs useless junk lying around!?! We will design our own Bible Covers, Father's Day gifts, Make a quilt, MAke a prayer box (we are learning to pray real prayers and to pray for each other, and color our own cups...these are just a few of our ideas.
Every Other Tuesday - Outside Game Night - We will go outside for some family fun. Maybe water slip n slide, relay races, ping-pong tournaments, go for a walk.....just something outside and WITH Dad.
Every Wednesday - Kids Cook - Exactly like it sounds, the kids get to cook supper. They get to plan their own menus. The rule?....they have to have a main course, veggie, side, and dessert. Our first meal looks like it's going to consist of Hamburger Helper, carrots w/ranch, Macarroni n Cheese, and brownies. LOL It doesn't exactly go together and I never buy hamburger helper, but it's supposed to be fun, so one night won't hurt!
Every other Thursday - Night Out - This is when we will do low-budget activities away from our house. Snow Cones, Splash Park, Park play, go visit family
To go along with this, we are having a veggie competition, to try as many as we can think of. I have made a chart and they get a sticker if they at least try the new veggie with some type of reward at the end of summer for trying so many new foods. I am hoping we find some new items to add to the menu!
Every other Friday - Field Trip Day - Only if they had good behavior all week...my husband is off on Fridays, so it will be a family trip. Putt-Putt, fishing, Hiking, Movies
Every Friday - Talent Night - The kids have all week to plan out their talent...singing, poetry, telling a story, play piano, play piano with your toes, gymnastics, cheering,... tons of choices!
We are also trying to plan to some occasional Community Service type activities...to teach the kids to do nice things for others, with no expectations of rewards. Be nice just to be nice. These activities may include mowing someones yard, baking cookies for someone, Just filling a need whenever we see it.
Our mornings will also have a routine....get up/dressed certain time, chores, 1 hour of workbooks/reading, exercise time, bible story time and a few other things.
I hope this inspires some of my readers or at least helps calm the summertime "blues" if you have them! I would love to hear of your own summertime ideas!!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Have a Laugh
To set up the scene.... I am in my bathroom putting on make-up.
Sunshine walks in, sees me, and says, "I want some lip sauce (aka lipstick), mommy."
I look at her and simply say, "nope."
"But why you get lip sauce, Mommy"
"Because I'm a mommy and mommies wear lip sauce"
A full 5 seconds or more pass by as Sunshine sits deep in thought.
She finally replies with (and with all of the attitude she can muster)
"Well Mommy, I is a girl and girls wear lip sauce!"
LOL Did my 2 yr old daughter really just think and say that to me????
Needless to say, she got her lip sauce...if for nothing else, for making Mommy have a good laugh!
Sunshine walks in, sees me, and says, "I want some lip sauce (aka lipstick), mommy."
I look at her and simply say, "nope."
"But why you get lip sauce, Mommy"
"Because I'm a mommy and mommies wear lip sauce"
A full 5 seconds or more pass by as Sunshine sits deep in thought.
She finally replies with (and with all of the attitude she can muster)
"Well Mommy, I is a girl and girls wear lip sauce!"
LOL Did my 2 yr old daughter really just think and say that to me????
Needless to say, she got her lip sauce...if for nothing else, for making Mommy have a good laugh!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Punishment vs. Discipline
I went to a class on Behavior Modification last night. This thought really intrigues me. Do you punish your kids, or discipline them? Unfortunatly, I think we all find ourselves reacting to anger or frustration many times when it comes to our kids. When we react, we should do so in way that will help them remember to do it right the next time, not to "get revenge" on them for whatever they just did.
"Punishment looks to the past, with revenge for bad behavior in mind, and is often given in anger. Discipline, on the other hand, looks to the future, with instruction and coaching in mind so things will be done right the next time, and is given in love." - Chuck Snyder
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11
We all need to heed these words and DISCIPLINE our kids!
"Punishment looks to the past, with revenge for bad behavior in mind, and is often given in anger. Discipline, on the other hand, looks to the future, with instruction and coaching in mind so things will be done right the next time, and is given in love." - Chuck Snyder
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11
We all need to heed these words and DISCIPLINE our kids!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Big Deal.....Really?
What may seem silly to us, may be a BIG deal to a child. Hmmm. How often do we reprimand our kids for throwing a fit about something that we think is ridiculous. Have you ever stopped to think why they are throwing the fit? Other than the fact that they just didn't get their way?
Now don't hear me wrong...I am NOT saying that throwing fits is okay and that you shouldn't discipline your kids for it. It is important that our kids learn "life doesn't always go the way you want it" and that "If you want something, you have to work for it or earn it."
But just consider why they are throwing the fit.
For example, We were buying a new house. We were so excited becasue it was twice the size of the one we were living in. And especially excited because our oldest daughter was going to get to have her own room for a while. All four girls had been sharing a room up to this point. There is a 3 yr age gap and huge maturity gap between our oldest daughter and the next daughter, so you can imagine.
We bring all of the kids in to show them the new house and see what they think. As we are gathering everyone up to leave, we look over and our oldest daughter is sitting on the floor crying, so, we ask her what's wrong. BOY, WAS THAT THE WRONG QUESTION! The world fell apart and she starts uncontrollably sobbing. She finally breaks into the sobs enough to say, "I wanted wood floors in my room." Your kidding me right? You have beautiful blue stain-free carpet in YOUR OWN ROOM and you are throwing a fit because you wanted wood floors?
My first instinct?....Well, we have 3 other girls and 4 boys who would be very grateful to live in this room:)...and then she got in trouble.
Now, ideally, and what we eventually did, was to let her explain herself a little better, which wasn't really any different than what she had already told us. She had her heart set on wood floors and in her "perfect, dream room" this is what she had pictured. Not blue carpet and vintage wall paper.
Needless, to say, of course she didn't get her way. However, we did explain to her that wood floors and new paint or wall paper are all superficial things and can be changed at any point that we decide to do it. Just knowing that we knew what she wanted and that eventually wood floors might be a possibility, de-escalated the whole fit.
What's not a big deal to you, might be to them!
And now, my little LA is throwing a fit while I type this, so I'm going to try out my own advice and see what is tearing his world apart before I send him to bed! lol
Now don't hear me wrong...I am NOT saying that throwing fits is okay and that you shouldn't discipline your kids for it. It is important that our kids learn "life doesn't always go the way you want it" and that "If you want something, you have to work for it or earn it."
But just consider why they are throwing the fit.
For example, We were buying a new house. We were so excited becasue it was twice the size of the one we were living in. And especially excited because our oldest daughter was going to get to have her own room for a while. All four girls had been sharing a room up to this point. There is a 3 yr age gap and huge maturity gap between our oldest daughter and the next daughter, so you can imagine.
We bring all of the kids in to show them the new house and see what they think. As we are gathering everyone up to leave, we look over and our oldest daughter is sitting on the floor crying, so, we ask her what's wrong. BOY, WAS THAT THE WRONG QUESTION! The world fell apart and she starts uncontrollably sobbing. She finally breaks into the sobs enough to say, "I wanted wood floors in my room." Your kidding me right? You have beautiful blue stain-free carpet in YOUR OWN ROOM and you are throwing a fit because you wanted wood floors?
My first instinct?....Well, we have 3 other girls and 4 boys who would be very grateful to live in this room:)...and then she got in trouble.
Now, ideally, and what we eventually did, was to let her explain herself a little better, which wasn't really any different than what she had already told us. She had her heart set on wood floors and in her "perfect, dream room" this is what she had pictured. Not blue carpet and vintage wall paper.
Needless, to say, of course she didn't get her way. However, we did explain to her that wood floors and new paint or wall paper are all superficial things and can be changed at any point that we decide to do it. Just knowing that we knew what she wanted and that eventually wood floors might be a possibility, de-escalated the whole fit.
What's not a big deal to you, might be to them!
And now, my little LA is throwing a fit while I type this, so I'm going to try out my own advice and see what is tearing his world apart before I send him to bed! lol
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Don't....I mean DO call me mom! .
How many times during the day or the week do you find yourself ignoring the little person beside you going, "mom, mom, mom, MOMMY?" How many times do you say, "Mom has left the building" or "That's not my name anymore." I don't know that this happens at my house EVERY day, but it would be safe to say it happens regularly....almost every day:)
I get so frustated when my kids demand attention that is not convenient for me.
My thought today?....To be called "Mom" is such a magnificent thing. I mean, I waited years for someone to call me this. As a step/foster/adoptive mom, this something that you do not always get the luxury of having. And sometimes you have to be the "closet mom"..meaning that they only call you mom at your house, but in public or when speaking to someone else about you, they call you by your real name. When you reach the point of being called "mom" from the inside-out, it is such a wonderful thing! My newly adopted Kids have recently started calling me "Mom" and not regularly until the actual adoption occured. When they say it (and they are school age) it makes me smile and think "that's right, I'm your mom now". What's more, is it grips my heart to see the satisfaction on their faces and lips when they call me "Mom"...It almost like they say it to see if I will respond, to see if I really am going to be the Mom who stays and takes care of and protects and listens to them. They are happy when the see that "Yeah, they do have a mom now!"
Next time my kids won't stop with the "mom, mom, mom, mom" thing, I am going to try really, really hard to take a second to appreciate the name and consider how important it is that my kids call me MOM before I let frustration take control.
I get so frustated when my kids demand attention that is not convenient for me.
My thought today?....To be called "Mom" is such a magnificent thing. I mean, I waited years for someone to call me this. As a step/foster/adoptive mom, this something that you do not always get the luxury of having. And sometimes you have to be the "closet mom"..meaning that they only call you mom at your house, but in public or when speaking to someone else about you, they call you by your real name. When you reach the point of being called "mom" from the inside-out, it is such a wonderful thing! My newly adopted Kids have recently started calling me "Mom" and not regularly until the actual adoption occured. When they say it (and they are school age) it makes me smile and think "that's right, I'm your mom now". What's more, is it grips my heart to see the satisfaction on their faces and lips when they call me "Mom"...It almost like they say it to see if I will respond, to see if I really am going to be the Mom who stays and takes care of and protects and listens to them. They are happy when the see that "Yeah, they do have a mom now!"
Next time my kids won't stop with the "mom, mom, mom, mom" thing, I am going to try really, really hard to take a second to appreciate the name and consider how important it is that my kids call me MOM before I let frustration take control.
Oil for My Lamp
This is a piece from a weekly devotion I receive....I wish I could take credit for it, but I'm just not this thoughtful at 630 in the morning. Enjoy!
You can find more like this at girlfriendsingod.com
May 19, 2010
Oil for My Lamp
Sharon Jaynes
In celebration of Mother's Day, Sharon is doing a series of May devotions celebrating moms.
Today's Truth
"Her lamp does not go out at night..." (Proverbs 31:18 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Driving along the coast and coming upon a lighthouse is an inspiring sight. Even though the map marks where the landmarks are stationed, it still brings a thrill when each one comes into view. That's how I feel when I see a mother nurturing her child. It is nothing new, this love of a mother for her offspring, but each time I see it, my heart takes a leap. Lighthouses and mothers share some common features, yet each one is beautiful and unique. Her light consistently burns bright, her stairs invite visitors to climb to greater heights, and her rough exterior remains impervious to the elements. But the most important feature is the oil in her lamp.
Recently, I stood looking at the Bodie Island lighthouse with its bold black and white horizontal stripes painted on its cement exterior. She is quite a flashy beacon, to say the least. Then I turned to look at the rough seas that were beating against the shore. I thought about the mariners who were so dependent on the lighthouse's searching beam to lead them safely to shore. What if she ran out of oil? What if she didn't shine? The ships were relying on her to be prepared and well supplied with oil. Then I thought about my own life as a mother. Suppose I ran out of oil, my light grew dim, or worse, burned out altogether. What would happen to my little fleet?
The blessed mother in Proverbs 31:18 also had a lamp. Scripture says that "her lamp did not go out at night." I used to read that verse and think, "Doesn't this woman ever sleep!" But then I realized that it wasn't so much about her staying awake all night, as it was about her lamp. She never let her oil run dry.
A lighthouse has one primary mission: to broadcast light so a mariner can see the shore. Likewise, a mother is a beacon that displays the light to guide her children through an ocean of choices. A mother's light is Jesus Christ, and she can't shine that light if her lamp runs dry. Ephesians 5:18 says, "Be filled with the Holy Spirit." That "be filled" is a present tense, continuous verb. It means be filled daily and continually. And interestingly enough, many times in Scripture, the Holy Spirit is referred to as ... you guessed it...oil!
How does a mother run out of oil? In Max Lucado's book, Just Like Jesus, he tells a story that gives us a clue.
"A lighthouse keeper who worked on a rocky stretch of coastline received oil once a month to keep his light burning bright. Not being far from the village, he had frequent guests. One night a woman needed oil to keep her family warm. Another night a father needed oil for his lamp. Then another needed oil to lubricate a wheel. All the requests seemed legitimate, so the lighthouse keeper tried to meet them all. Toward the end of the month, however, he ran out of oil and his lighthouse went dark, causing several ships to crash on the coastline. The man was reproved by his superiors, 'You were given the oil for one reason,' they said, 'to keep the light burning.'"
As mothers in the twenty-first century, we are tempted to meet every need that comes our way - and they are constant. But our primary job is to love the Lord, love our husbands, and nurture our children. All the other needs that scream for our attention, though they are noble, must wait until we take care of our families first. Their childhood goes by so quickly yet we can never turn back the clock as this poem expresses.
My hands were busy through the day.
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to,
I didn't have much time for you.
I'd wash your clothes.
I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And asked me please to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later son."
I'd tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door...
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.
For life is short, the years rush past.
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play.
No good-night kisses, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands once busy now are still
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.
Author Unknown
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, Thank You for this family that You have given me. I pray that I will be careful to take care of their needs before the needs of others who scream for my attention. Help me to be a woman with a balanced life- God first, husband second, children third.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Have you ever run out of oil? Out of strength? Out of energy?
That's a silly question! We all have!
In the Bible, God compares the Holy Spirit to oil. What does Ephesians 5:18 say about the Holy Spirit in our lives?
What source of fuel does Christ promise us in Acts 1:8?
Which statement best describes your life?
I am burning my light like a candle that consumes itself.
I am burning like an oil lamp fueled by an endless supply of the Holy Spirit's power.
Write a prayer asking God to fuel you with the Holy Spirit's power today.
More From The Girlfriends
If you are a mom who needs some encouragement today, you'll want to read Sharon's book, Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you will know that you have one of the most important jobs on earth. And if you need a little help with balance in your life, you'll want to read Sharon's book, A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life.
You can find more like this at girlfriendsingod.com
May 19, 2010
Oil for My Lamp
Sharon Jaynes
In celebration of Mother's Day, Sharon is doing a series of May devotions celebrating moms.
Today's Truth
"Her lamp does not go out at night..." (Proverbs 31:18 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Driving along the coast and coming upon a lighthouse is an inspiring sight. Even though the map marks where the landmarks are stationed, it still brings a thrill when each one comes into view. That's how I feel when I see a mother nurturing her child. It is nothing new, this love of a mother for her offspring, but each time I see it, my heart takes a leap. Lighthouses and mothers share some common features, yet each one is beautiful and unique. Her light consistently burns bright, her stairs invite visitors to climb to greater heights, and her rough exterior remains impervious to the elements. But the most important feature is the oil in her lamp.
Recently, I stood looking at the Bodie Island lighthouse with its bold black and white horizontal stripes painted on its cement exterior. She is quite a flashy beacon, to say the least. Then I turned to look at the rough seas that were beating against the shore. I thought about the mariners who were so dependent on the lighthouse's searching beam to lead them safely to shore. What if she ran out of oil? What if she didn't shine? The ships were relying on her to be prepared and well supplied with oil. Then I thought about my own life as a mother. Suppose I ran out of oil, my light grew dim, or worse, burned out altogether. What would happen to my little fleet?
The blessed mother in Proverbs 31:18 also had a lamp. Scripture says that "her lamp did not go out at night." I used to read that verse and think, "Doesn't this woman ever sleep!" But then I realized that it wasn't so much about her staying awake all night, as it was about her lamp. She never let her oil run dry.
A lighthouse has one primary mission: to broadcast light so a mariner can see the shore. Likewise, a mother is a beacon that displays the light to guide her children through an ocean of choices. A mother's light is Jesus Christ, and she can't shine that light if her lamp runs dry. Ephesians 5:18 says, "Be filled with the Holy Spirit." That "be filled" is a present tense, continuous verb. It means be filled daily and continually. And interestingly enough, many times in Scripture, the Holy Spirit is referred to as ... you guessed it...oil!
How does a mother run out of oil? In Max Lucado's book, Just Like Jesus, he tells a story that gives us a clue.
"A lighthouse keeper who worked on a rocky stretch of coastline received oil once a month to keep his light burning bright. Not being far from the village, he had frequent guests. One night a woman needed oil to keep her family warm. Another night a father needed oil for his lamp. Then another needed oil to lubricate a wheel. All the requests seemed legitimate, so the lighthouse keeper tried to meet them all. Toward the end of the month, however, he ran out of oil and his lighthouse went dark, causing several ships to crash on the coastline. The man was reproved by his superiors, 'You were given the oil for one reason,' they said, 'to keep the light burning.'"
As mothers in the twenty-first century, we are tempted to meet every need that comes our way - and they are constant. But our primary job is to love the Lord, love our husbands, and nurture our children. All the other needs that scream for our attention, though they are noble, must wait until we take care of our families first. Their childhood goes by so quickly yet we can never turn back the clock as this poem expresses.
My hands were busy through the day.
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to,
I didn't have much time for you.
I'd wash your clothes.
I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And asked me please to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later son."
I'd tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door...
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.
For life is short, the years rush past.
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play.
No good-night kisses, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands once busy now are still
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.
Author Unknown
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, Thank You for this family that You have given me. I pray that I will be careful to take care of their needs before the needs of others who scream for my attention. Help me to be a woman with a balanced life- God first, husband second, children third.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Have you ever run out of oil? Out of strength? Out of energy?
That's a silly question! We all have!
In the Bible, God compares the Holy Spirit to oil. What does Ephesians 5:18 say about the Holy Spirit in our lives?
What source of fuel does Christ promise us in Acts 1:8?
Which statement best describes your life?
I am burning my light like a candle that consumes itself.
I am burning like an oil lamp fueled by an endless supply of the Holy Spirit's power.
Write a prayer asking God to fuel you with the Holy Spirit's power today.
More From The Girlfriends
If you are a mom who needs some encouragement today, you'll want to read Sharon's book, Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you will know that you have one of the most important jobs on earth. And if you need a little help with balance in your life, you'll want to read Sharon's book, A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Is It Nap Time Yet?
My thoughts for today are revolving around naptime....Usually, by the time 1200 rolls around, I cannot wait to get my kids into bed so Mommy can have some much needed quiet time. Most of the time, naptime is when I get caught up on the chores that the kids undo if they are awake or when I work on little home projects or things like this blog that is so much fun! The downfall to rushing the kids off to bed?...Usually I just stick them in bed tell them nighty-night and rush back to get started on whatever I need to do. THEN, I spend the next 2 hours telling the kids to go get back in bed and to quit playing with toys. Mom doesn't get quiet time and Kids do not get a good nap.
Today's word of advice : Take 10 minutes to pat your kids to sleep or read them a book if that's what they want.
I have tried to quit rushing so much and started patting my contrary "Sunshine" to sleep. Now, I loose 10 minutes instead of 2 hours. She gets a good nap and I get to have some peace and quiet!
Try it, it works!
"A final word: Be strong in the Lord's mighty power." Ephesians 6:10
Today's word of advice : Take 10 minutes to pat your kids to sleep or read them a book if that's what they want.
I have tried to quit rushing so much and started patting my contrary "Sunshine" to sleep. Now, I loose 10 minutes instead of 2 hours. She gets a good nap and I get to have some peace and quiet!
Try it, it works!
"A final word: Be strong in the Lord's mighty power." Ephesians 6:10
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thought of the Day
In regards to dealing with a rebellious or unrully pre-teen or teenager....
I was listening to a radio talk the other day and when I heard this statement, it was like, "Oh, that's good, maybe I should try this"
"The person your child is now, is NOT the adult they will grow up to be. Instead of being anxious over their actions, embrace them for who they are and show them what the unconditional love of Christ is."
Hmmm...I tend to spend so much time agonizing over the decisions and choices that one of our kids make, that I forget to just enjoy her, to appreciate her, to PRAY FOR HER, and to do something that tells her that I love her. You know what I found out when I tried it? When a child sees that a parent is pleased with them and listens to their feelings, they actually make better choices and have better attitudes without even knowing it!
"Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it." Proverbs 22:6
Moms, have faith, and when you pray, pray BELIEVING God is in complete control!
I was listening to a radio talk the other day and when I heard this statement, it was like, "Oh, that's good, maybe I should try this"
"The person your child is now, is NOT the adult they will grow up to be. Instead of being anxious over their actions, embrace them for who they are and show them what the unconditional love of Christ is."
Hmmm...I tend to spend so much time agonizing over the decisions and choices that one of our kids make, that I forget to just enjoy her, to appreciate her, to PRAY FOR HER, and to do something that tells her that I love her. You know what I found out when I tried it? When a child sees that a parent is pleased with them and listens to their feelings, they actually make better choices and have better attitudes without even knowing it!
"Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it." Proverbs 22:6
Moms, have faith, and when you pray, pray BELIEVING God is in complete control!
Why Am I Doing This?
Hi! I am a 26yr old Christian mother of 8....that's right 8! My role includes bio-mom, step-mom, adoptive-mom, foster-mom, & just because-mom. I have never been much of a journal/diary keeper so when I had the thought of creating a blog, I pushed it aside. But, I really feel led by God to do this, so here I am! My arguments you ask? I, by no means am a parenting expert, most days, I wonder why in the world God has chosen this path for me because I'm not that great at it. My kids are normal kids and our house is a pretty normal house (I think!), they argue and have to be told several times to do something and I lose my temper with them sometimes...not a picture perfect family by any means. I have so much left to learn and so many questions to ask in regards to raising my own kids, how can I tell someone else how to do it? This is the answer that keeps replaying in my mind: There are lots of 26yr old moms, and lots of moms with 8 kids, and lots of step-moms, moms that have adopted and foster moms, BUT, how many people are there that fit ALL of those categories? I do. I have learned so many things and have so much left to learn from my multi-mom role! My goal is to post a daily thought to make you think, laugh, cry, or even be inspired. I am trusting God will use this blog to minister to all the rest of you moms out there and even myself!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
About Me
....from the time we got married, we never did anything to prevent pregnancy, but weren't exactly trying either. After 2 years of this and still no baby, we went to the dreaded Dr. Suprise, you BOTH have fertilty issues. What? He has a kid already he can't have fertility issues. Yep, you both do. So we start testing an medication to fix the problem. We really couldn't afford it, but my dreams were beginning to crash around me and I felt this was the only way. Our bodies did exactly the opposite of what they are supposed to do on fertility medication. Dr kept saying we jsut have to get the dosage right and so we keep on for 6 months and still cannot afford it. Around about this time, I started hearing God tell me "Just trust me", "I do not need the help of man to answer your prayers". Well God....THEN WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER THEM? Yep, I was pretty angry, devestated, exhausted, crushed..you name it. I didn't want to have to "adopt" a baby because there is no way I can feel as strongly for a child that isn't mine. I know this God, remember I am a step-mother?..I love our kids with all my heart, but it's not the same. How can I LOVE?
Finally, money is so tight, I decide enough is enough. My husband and I practically hate each other by now and all of this stress does not exactly "help get you in the mood". SOOOO, I make the decision to toss our medications and put full trust in God. Have you ever been so relieved and stressed and scared at the same time that it literally made you sick, I was. This happens in February of 2007. We try to get back to a normal life. In March of 2007 we are looking at a foster/adoption program just for kicks and request an info packet. Not only do we get the packet, we get a phone call! It just so happens they have a certification class starting on April 1st, do we want to do it? Well, I guess so....We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into! April 1st, 2007, we start the class. We are going to be a foster to adopt family...that means they will give us a baby that they know will be up for adoption, right??? Not so much. We feel certain that God is leading us in this direction, afterall, we can't have a baby. End of April, 2 weeks before we finish our classes, I'm exahausted and needing a nap for some reason at 10am in the morning. So I take a random pregnancy test. Not really expecting anything, just need to use it up and get it out of my head. But wait, that's a PLUS sign. This test must be too old, and this is not funny. So I go to the Dr. to get a real test. Guess what? It was right, I'm going to have a baby! We are confident that we would have never traveled the foster care road had we been pregnant first, so God must have led us here for a reason, so we are going to continue on with our plan to foster/adopt...and have a baby! Afterall, I'm having morning sickness, but it will take several months before they have a foster baby for me. WRONG! Within 2 weeks of recieving our license, we had 3 calls for newborn babies. The 3rd one, my little Sunshine, starts a whole new journey...
We brougth Sunshine home from the hospital when she was 2 weeks old. For a week before that, I drove to the hospital every day and sat in the NICU to rock her. Will we get to adopt her? Who knows at this point.
Fast forward....November of 2007. I have J, Pickle, and little Sunshine, who is 5 1/2 months old, I'm due in 6 weeks with my first baby, little LA, AND MY MOM, DAD, SISTERS, AND BROTHERS are headed to AFRICA FOR 2 WEEKS! Are you kidding me? NO I am not. SO to speed things up, I ended up with severe Preeclampsia due to stress I think, had to be induced, only that didn't work, and ended up having a C-Section 6 weeks before my due date...4 days before my family left for Africa. LA was a healthy 3lb 10oz at birth, but praise God, he had absolutly NO complications! We camped out in the hospital for 2 weeks until he reached 4 lbs, and then got to come home the day before Thanksgiving 2007. I spent my 3rd anniversary in the hospital with my little LA. We go home and I begin my busy Mommy routine. In MArch of 2008, we began the fight of our lives to adopt our Sunshine. Everything that is not likely to happen, happened. God saw fit to answer our prayers and after a long, long battle, we adopted Keyana in November of 2009...on our 5th wedding anniversary...ok God, that makes up for having to spend the 3rd one in the hospital, Thanks! But, back-up a minute....once we were pretty sure the adoption of Sunshine would happen, we decided to become a group home. Again, we had a conversation andleft thinking this was something we would do in the next 6 months. In 2 weeks we went from 4 kids to 7 kids. That's right, KK,KZ, & Little J moved in on July 15th 2009. Their biological mom was preg, but under no circumstances was I going to take in another baby, Babies slow me down way too much! So on Sept 28th, 2009, Their newborn baby brother moved in with us. In Nov of 2009, we decided we would adopt all 4 of these siblings and back out of foster care....not so easy. We have recently adopted (4/2010) kk, kz, and little J-HOWEVER- Littlest J has a different father and is still in foster care at our home. That makes 8 kids in our house! God has been so good to see us through. He has been faithful in providing for us, we have never missed a bill and our kids have always been fed. There are times that if you put pencil to paper, it might not work out, BUT GOD HAS TAKEN CARE OF US!
And now back to the question of HOW CAN I LOVE A CHILD THAT IS NOT MINE? The answer?: I have learned that I love all of my kids the same, I would lay down my life for any of them. I was confusing love with bonds. A mother bonds with each of her kids in a different special way. Your oldest child will always be the oldest and your baby will always be your baby.... God has heard my fears and proven me wrong! The most prominent example I can give is this: I have a bond with my Sunshine that runs deeper than the bond I have with my bio LA. Why? Because I had to fight for her, had to protect her in way that most people don't. That doesn't mean that I love the others less, I have a special "place" with each of them and those are moments that only me and that particular child get to have. What makes them special? It's like a secret you share that no one else knows about, You can both go there, you can have mother/daughter time or mother/son time in room full of crowded people because we are all bound by the BOND OF LOVE!
Finally, money is so tight, I decide enough is enough. My husband and I practically hate each other by now and all of this stress does not exactly "help get you in the mood". SOOOO, I make the decision to toss our medications and put full trust in God. Have you ever been so relieved and stressed and scared at the same time that it literally made you sick, I was. This happens in February of 2007. We try to get back to a normal life. In March of 2007 we are looking at a foster/adoption program just for kicks and request an info packet. Not only do we get the packet, we get a phone call! It just so happens they have a certification class starting on April 1st, do we want to do it? Well, I guess so....We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into! April 1st, 2007, we start the class. We are going to be a foster to adopt family...that means they will give us a baby that they know will be up for adoption, right??? Not so much. We feel certain that God is leading us in this direction, afterall, we can't have a baby. End of April, 2 weeks before we finish our classes, I'm exahausted and needing a nap for some reason at 10am in the morning. So I take a random pregnancy test. Not really expecting anything, just need to use it up and get it out of my head. But wait, that's a PLUS sign. This test must be too old, and this is not funny. So I go to the Dr. to get a real test. Guess what? It was right, I'm going to have a baby! We are confident that we would have never traveled the foster care road had we been pregnant first, so God must have led us here for a reason, so we are going to continue on with our plan to foster/adopt...and have a baby! Afterall, I'm having morning sickness, but it will take several months before they have a foster baby for me. WRONG! Within 2 weeks of recieving our license, we had 3 calls for newborn babies. The 3rd one, my little Sunshine, starts a whole new journey...
We brougth Sunshine home from the hospital when she was 2 weeks old. For a week before that, I drove to the hospital every day and sat in the NICU to rock her. Will we get to adopt her? Who knows at this point.
Fast forward....November of 2007. I have J, Pickle, and little Sunshine, who is 5 1/2 months old, I'm due in 6 weeks with my first baby, little LA, AND MY MOM, DAD, SISTERS, AND BROTHERS are headed to AFRICA FOR 2 WEEKS! Are you kidding me? NO I am not. SO to speed things up, I ended up with severe Preeclampsia due to stress I think, had to be induced, only that didn't work, and ended up having a C-Section 6 weeks before my due date...4 days before my family left for Africa. LA was a healthy 3lb 10oz at birth, but praise God, he had absolutly NO complications! We camped out in the hospital for 2 weeks until he reached 4 lbs, and then got to come home the day before Thanksgiving 2007. I spent my 3rd anniversary in the hospital with my little LA. We go home and I begin my busy Mommy routine. In MArch of 2008, we began the fight of our lives to adopt our Sunshine. Everything that is not likely to happen, happened. God saw fit to answer our prayers and after a long, long battle, we adopted Keyana in November of 2009...on our 5th wedding anniversary...ok God, that makes up for having to spend the 3rd one in the hospital, Thanks! But, back-up a minute....once we were pretty sure the adoption of Sunshine would happen, we decided to become a group home. Again, we had a conversation andleft thinking this was something we would do in the next 6 months. In 2 weeks we went from 4 kids to 7 kids. That's right, KK,KZ, & Little J moved in on July 15th 2009. Their biological mom was preg, but under no circumstances was I going to take in another baby, Babies slow me down way too much! So on Sept 28th, 2009, Their newborn baby brother moved in with us. In Nov of 2009, we decided we would adopt all 4 of these siblings and back out of foster care....not so easy. We have recently adopted (4/2010) kk, kz, and little J-HOWEVER- Littlest J has a different father and is still in foster care at our home. That makes 8 kids in our house! God has been so good to see us through. He has been faithful in providing for us, we have never missed a bill and our kids have always been fed. There are times that if you put pencil to paper, it might not work out, BUT GOD HAS TAKEN CARE OF US!
And now back to the question of HOW CAN I LOVE A CHILD THAT IS NOT MINE? The answer?: I have learned that I love all of my kids the same, I would lay down my life for any of them. I was confusing love with bonds. A mother bonds with each of her kids in a different special way. Your oldest child will always be the oldest and your baby will always be your baby.... God has heard my fears and proven me wrong! The most prominent example I can give is this: I have a bond with my Sunshine that runs deeper than the bond I have with my bio LA. Why? Because I had to fight for her, had to protect her in way that most people don't. That doesn't mean that I love the others less, I have a special "place" with each of them and those are moments that only me and that particular child get to have. What makes them special? It's like a secret you share that no one else knows about, You can both go there, you can have mother/daughter time or mother/son time in room full of crowded people because we are all bound by the BOND OF LOVE!
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