Big Deal.....Really?

What may seem silly to us, may be a BIG deal to a child. Hmmm. How often do we reprimand our kids for throwing a fit about something that we think is ridiculous. Have you ever stopped to think why they are throwing the fit? Other than the fact that they just didn't get their way?

Now don't hear me wrong...I am NOT saying that throwing fits is okay and that you shouldn't discipline your kids for it. It is important that our kids learn "life doesn't always go the way you want it" and that "If you want something, you have to work for it or earn it."

But just consider why they are throwing the fit.

For example, We were buying a new house. We were so excited becasue it was twice the size of the one we were living in. And especially excited because our oldest daughter was going to get to have her own room for a while. All four girls had been sharing a room up to this point. There is a 3 yr age gap and huge maturity gap between our oldest daughter and the next daughter, so you can imagine.

We bring all of the kids in to show them the new house and see what they think. As we are gathering everyone up to leave, we look over and our oldest daughter is sitting on the floor crying, so, we ask her what's wrong. BOY, WAS THAT THE WRONG QUESTION! The world fell apart and she starts uncontrollably sobbing. She finally breaks into the sobs enough to say, "I wanted wood floors in my room." Your kidding me right? You have beautiful blue stain-free carpet in YOUR OWN ROOM and you are throwing a fit because you wanted wood floors?
My first instinct?....Well, we have 3 other girls and 4 boys who would be very grateful to live in this room:)...and then she got in trouble.

Now, ideally, and what we eventually did, was to let her explain herself a little better, which wasn't really any different than what she had already told us. She had her heart set on wood floors and in her "perfect, dream room" this is what she had pictured. Not blue carpet and vintage wall paper.

Needless, to say, of course she didn't get her way. However, we did explain to her that wood floors and new paint or wall paper are all superficial things and can be changed at any point that we decide to do it. Just knowing that we knew what she wanted and that eventually wood floors might be a possibility, de-escalated the whole fit.

What's not a big deal to you, might be to them!

And now, my little LA is throwing a fit while I type this, so I'm going to try out my own advice and see what is tearing his world apart before I send him to bed! lol